the last road to nowhere

the meat of the moment -
that point in time where
it comes to you
when you realize you're going to
be this way
for the rest of your life.
all the symptoms are there.
the signs are clearly written.
you've tried to adjust,
but the people are
unbearable
with their opinions
and their answers
and their snide remarks.
you try not to look at their faces
you try to stay away
the best that you can,
but they are everywhere.
they come out of the sewers.
they ooze from under the trash
and they are there to find you out.
they know you better than yourself
and they do everything in their power
to aid your suffering.
they talk
and chirp
and blow wind out of their asses,
all to make you realize that you're this way
for life.
you're not one of them,
and they know it
so they bring the misery
and the fear
and the
tired revolution in your head
that begs them to go away.
but they never will.
they're there for good.
there's no escape.
you just want to wrap your head around
bukowski
and ginsberg
and nietzsche
and old socrates
but they won't give you peace.
you want to write it down,
work it out,
and drop away,
but there's never enough time.
never enough time
in misery,
and you're afraid you'll be
like this
for the rest of
your life.