through choices change and come again, up above this all

our choices bind us,
they confer that we
have come to a point
where we have given
a certain value to some
such thing or another.
we are grounded in this
and sometimes altering
those decisions become
harder than making the
initial decision, itself.
those decisions are a
reflection of ourselves,
stamping out uncertainty
and drawing a bold line,
firmly planting us in one
category or another,
labeling us this or that.
we are guided by our
own failing track record
to repeat the same mistakes
until we change our path
entirely. from childhood
on, we set out to create
our own packaging -
"I am abused."
"I am abusive."
"I am troubled."
"I am trouble."
we repeat the same formula,
hoping for different outcomes.
the abused find abusive lovers.
the damaged find those who
would damage.
the tired make waves with the
tiring.
the bored find those who are
boring.
it is a viscous circle of need and
want, of supply and demand.
we do not take the time to look
inward to find what troubles us
on the outside.
child molesters were molested.
abusers were abused.
bullies were bullied.
killers are killed.
and if we do manage to break
the cycle, it is only to become hard,
rigid, and unmovable.
we do not take enough time to heal,
to become better than our previously
damaged selves.
walking away can be the best medicine,
the effective remedy for all that ails us.
staying quiet, being alone, reflecting on
our past, it all leads to health.
in many ways, we command our own
ships. we can sail off into the night and
leave the destruction behind us.
we can become self-fulfilling, our own
prophets, our own saviors in action.
there are a great many things that are
hard to overcome, but you will never
heal without making a choice.