the happiest place

there it was,
layers of steel
and concrete
painted festive colors,
fenced in, and undulating
under the California sun.

there was the whoosh of a train
like a pepper grinder
plugged into the wall
and turned on high
while thrown into the
bathtub.
a giant mouse with
deformed ears and a
permanent smile,
waving his gloved
hand at passersby.
children screaming
murder at the poor
fellow .

i stepped in gum
and tried to grind it
away while i walked.

the smell of funnel cake
drew me in as i hobbled,
sticking every other step.

 i saw someone i knew
and thought, what a
small world. after all, it's not
every day that you run into
someone you think you know
to find out that it really wasn't
who you thought it was. or
maybe that happens more often
than i care to recall.

i scraped the remainder of the
gum off on a fiberglass statue of
an elephant wearing a hat. he had
mutant ears, but he was smiling so
i figured he didn't mind.

the enormity of the crowd was
awe inspiring as i searched for a place
to have a smoke on a map i was given when i
first entered. there, behind a trash enclosure,
strategically placed between a wrecked pirate ship
and the food court was my solace. i wrenched a fag
from the pack and placed it between my lips. with a
few quick flicks of the lighter, i was inhaling and pretending
i didn't give a shit, but the magic was all around and it was
hard not to care.

i ate something that tasted like a microwaved
hamburger, but not as good and washed it
down with a deflated Coke.

i walked by a ride and remembered that someone had
once died there. the poor fucker was decapitated
when he stuck his head off the ride and
they gave him CPR until he was in the parking lot
because no one dies in the happiest place on earth.

above the fire station is an apartment where the
creator used to stay when he was at the park.
i found it fascinating until i realized he probably did
it because if the chemical characters caught
fire, this would be the safest place to hide.

imagine your favorite childhood characters
drenched in flame, scurrying through an inferno,
screaming ...

my stomach cramped. a thin slick of sweat
dampened my brow. i was suddenly shocked
as i clenched tight and braced myself against
a teacup. a tear came to my eye. the fucking
hamburger. i knew that wasn't meat.
i walked briskly toward the restroom sign, dodging
hordes of smiling faces.

there was a line. i stood and waited.
i was faced with
a roller-coaster. shit,
wrong line.
i sidestepped a family
and tried to go for the exit,
but was promptly turned around
and led to one of the cars.

strapped in,
i began to panic.
i wasn't entirely sure that
i could hold out long enough
to get to the finish line. with a
jarring motion, the ride was
underway and i clenched as
we ascended into bright light.

i'm dead, i thought.

and then
i dropped.
the urge to shit had gone.
whatever had been
pushing at my
lower half had obviously
become frightened
and retreated back into
 the safety of my
upper intestine.

mouse ears
slapped me in the face
and i was crying.
a few loops,
a Hell inspired twist,
and i was upside-down,
choking on a chunk
of turd that had been smarter
than the rest
and decided to go back
from whence
it came.

the next few seconds
were a blur.
i might have thrown up,
but there
was no way to tell.
if anything had
come up,
it would have been
wiped clean
by the wind.

i got off the ride
and stumbled.
at least i didn't
have to shit anymore.
i looked for the exit and
decided
to spend the rest
of the adventure
in the
parking lot
within
the
relative
safety
of my
car.