leave them their innocence

his nickname was Happy.
it was an ironic nickname.
he had lost most of his mind
in Vietnam running through
rice paddies with jungle rot
for two tours.

thick eyeglasses adorned his face
and he always wore his Army issue
jacket with the patches removed
when he came back home.

i remember my parents pulling me aside
one day and telling me to stay away from him.
they said that he had molested his daughter, Lucy.

she wasn't quite a year old yet.

Lucy and her mother stayed over at our house
quite often after that. i was always told to go out
and play when she came over to talk to my mom.

the little girl took to me for some odd reason. she always
smiled when i came into the room. two upper and two lower
teeth gleamed when i was near. maybe she liked me
because i didn't judge her, i didn't look at he with sorrow
spread across my face like the adults. maybe it was because
i didn't know what molestation was. i always played with her.
i gave her my best toys to entertain her. she was a normal
little girl in my eyes.

when she grew up,
she didn't remember what
had happened to her.
it was probably for the best.
but the adults always looked at her in a way that
seemed a bit unnerving. there was always a sadness
in their eyes.
they seemed to be apologizing for what
had happened to her.

she was a good kid, and we remained friends until
my family moved out of Chicago. i never looked at her
the way the adults did. probably because i still don't know
what molestation is.