it works out from time to time

After my first divorce, after three years of misery and great sex, 
I turned away and left her alone
and I wondered at how hard it was
the feeling of isolation and worry-
not having someone there to argue with and worry over
wondering who she may have been with that night
how they were fucking
how deep it went

I wondered what it would be like not to be lied to anymore-
how it would be in the future and if I would believe anyone again
surely they all couldn't be liars
what then? would I be the crazy one? for not lying
maybe but that's who I am and I couldn't start doing something
I'm not inclined to

She came back a few times after
I called it closure
but she wanted to fuck like old times
and I bit my lip and shook my head no
and she said I was fucking someone new
I shook my head and said, "no."

I thought about her for a while
it might have been a year
but I finally packed my stuff
and threw away the things we had collected together
and I moved to a new place with three cats and a futon

I began to meet new women
women who were wonderful in bed
each one special in their own way
they became the cure
at first I counted every triumph every momentary lust
and at a point I stopped counting because they were no longer victories
for a broken heart
but notches in a faltering heart

one morning I met a girl at a coffee shop a few miles from my place
she was young
and I saw her through the front window and the light was hitting her
in a special way
there was a glow
and I introduced myself to her and brought her a coffee
and a bottle of water for myself
and we talked and went to see a movie together
and we talked through it
and we ate diner when the movie was over
and she had to bring her sister to work
but she wanted to see me after she dropped her off

we watched movies at my place that night
and I asked if I could kiss her
and she gave a shy nod
and our lips met
and she hasn't went home since