admired from afar

sometimes i think about you,
what you're doing now
since i am not there
as often as i would like

i remember the way you used to smile
when i said something silly

i remember the way you took
command when you entered
a room

i was there on Wednesday
when you were washing dishes
and dropped the glass,
breaking it in the sink

i watched you cry
as you cleaned up the mess

i often wonder if you're thinking
about me,
but i'm sure of it when
i look into your eyes

i pulled the blanket over you
the other night
while you were sleeping
because you looked so cold

i made sure you found that letter
i left for you

even through the tears
i know you were happy to find it

if you look at that picture
you took of yourself in the bathroom
you'll be able to see me off in the
far left corner
in the shadows
secretly smiling at how beautiful you are

i know you miss me
i miss you too

i can still keep loving you
even though i'm dead