made up myth

i had surgery
when i was 12.
they say that i
slipped away for
a few minutes.

all i can remember is
green grass
on rolling hills,
flowers so bright
they took me
by surprise,
a single tree
that branched out
for miles,
and a sapphire sky.
butterflies fluttered,
birds called.
the air smelled
of candy.

i wore the
biggest smile.

and i
still wonder
if i was gazing
into the eyes of
god.

but assuming
the nature
of things,
i'm sure i was.

and i'm left,
so many years
later, with
the impression
that all the claims
of encountering
divinity
are wrong.
i saw no
vengeance,
nor providence.
there was nothing
but the moment
of love,
of calm contemplation,
of safety
in those rolling hills.

hate
what you will.
judge
who you will.
but understand
that you
might be
gazing into
the eyes of a reflection
in the doubt
you have built
around an idea
and not in the
being
you so passionately
search.