hallow

every inch of you is cursing me -

from your cunt to your needing hands.

press your finger in the wound.

let it dip deeper.

force me to like it.

give me your thrusting death.

open up

the scar.

and I’ll cough out my lust for you –

one last time

is it what you intended?

when you came to me.

when you came to so many others.

when you fuck away what I care.

your smile is sickness

only the beginning of disease.

it rapes away what little I had.

gives me hope,

lets me die slowly.

you’re my special monster.

you know just where my fears hide.

I gave you too much.

you took those moments with you

when you left

I screamed

but now my voice is ashen and discharged.

solitary is the life you gave me.

I could never open too far

for fear of letting you in

for showing you the place I bleed.

it took everything not to

hurting you is something

I never wanted.

please give back what you took

you can’t use it anyway.

it’s something I need to live.

I can’t breathe without it.

I know your mouth so well.

every corner within where you can hide.

you only show me the things I can handle

everything else you keep from me.

you bless me with care.

don’t frighten the child.

keep him locked up tight.

keep him away from harm.

show him your anger

and let him swim in your desire.

he is nothing without you.

he is weakness

and his soul has nowhere to go if you leave.

wrap up the boy in blankets

made of your past.

nurture him and keep him always.

for he is sick

and is made for suffering.

give him the things God cannot.