as i fail
i fail politely
i laugh
at the mistakes
which drown me
i grin
as the hammer
drops
i would
cackle a cry
if it were
to ever
fall neatly in place
as the morning
yawns through
space
to bring the light
of day
i open my eyes
to see
that it is still
horribly real
and everything
i thought
would vanish
persists
into my waking hours
what joke is this
?
what crime have i committed
to deserve
such a sentence
?
it is simply
living
like everyone else
is living
the damnable
punishment
of breath
of action
of inaction
of change
how many dawns
before the weight
becomes too much
and the threads
unravel
into a nest of twine
where the shell rests
final
?
and the searching persists
for an answer
to the disease
of beating hearts
and open wounds
and the salt
which rubs in
the pain
to grow
from the malignancy
which kills us closer
with each and every step
how may the day
mark the end
for this misery
to be through
?
how many turns
of the knife
in a spine
too crooked
to stand firm
?
may all the deaths
in the world be swift
and merciful
in light of the
suffering
we have all
endured
may there come a storm
which washes us from
this
like the floods of a god
who never lived
not truly
in this punishment
no more
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