a certain silence

the noise is
never ending.
i am sensitive to it
and it will not stop.

this noise is
unnerving and
i am appalled by it
and it refuses silence.

the noise is
louder and it
shakes the masks
on my wall.
     the eyes fall out
     onto the floor and
     the masks no longer
     notice anything at all.

the noise hangs on through
the traffic and the machines
and the rooster two houses
over and it will not stop.

i am sensitive to the sound
and it refuses to quit.
i can't get them to understand-
and they wouldn't even if i
learned to shout.

the static is maddening
and it finds me wherever
i go. it burns the strands
that connect the eardrums
to my brain. it hurts, and it
will not subside.

i shove the pillow
                 around my head,
but my heart can still feel the pounding.

i lose myself in the momentum.
i draw a breath and swallow the

n                 i                   e
         o                 s

it grounds me in the now
and it will not loosen up.

it drowns me out
even when i shout.

and i am certainly losing
the battle inside my head.